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The Diary Of Bobson Dugnutt

Episode Two: The Night That Wouldn't End.


I sense that I am beginning to wear on the nerves of my new friends. When I last had the chance to write, I foolishly thought that my life had changed for the better, that the light of Bahamut was shining on me, and that our troubles had come, if not to an end, at least to a breaking point from which we could weather the night's storm.

I was wrong. Of course I was wrong. I am so often wrong, that is how I ended up in this predicament to begin with.

I don't even know where to start. It's all so fresh, I can still hear the screams.

Shortly after my last entry, Brad and Glenfang, currently my favorite of my new wards, wandered off to the infirmary to tend to their wounded friends. They have deep ties to this town, and they felt that the best use of their talents was within the keep. I wish with all that is within me that I could have stayed with them, but I made a vow to Bahamut that I would protect Gravius (and, I guess, Cadien. Though at that I have proven woefully inadequate) and Gravius would have no such thing.

We had hardly been at rest for an hour when a conversation with the dwarf Escobear and the young wizard Theo reiterated the importance of delivering the Governor's daughter safely to the keep. I reluctantly agreed, and set about the sisyphean task of herding our band of misfits towards a single goal. By the time we had come to an accord, and agreed to exit the keep, our discussions were rendered moot by a cry from one of the watchmen on the wall around the keep.

The watchman had spied friendly faces inbound from the east, trailed by cultists and kobolds. Escobear bounded up the stairs to the top of the wall, and he was quickly followed Gravius. Brash and spiteful as ever, the young barbarian charged up the stars, and the rest of us followed.

The situation visible from wall was dire. Two clearly celestial beings approached, carrying a bound cultist between them. As we watched, the one in the rear took an arrow in their right shoulder (and my shoulder twinged sympathetically at the memory of the arrow Glennfang had embedded in it only scant hours previously) and fell forward, seemingly unconscious.

Trailing behind these glittering celestial beings, we saw what amounted to a small army of cultists and kobolds, and at least one magic user. I knew, surveying this scene, that we shouldn't engage them in open combat. I was alone in this understanding.

As we surveyed the scene, the celestial that was still standing dragged his fallen compatriots to the wall and screamed for a rope, which I happily supplied. He used the rope to secure his friend's body, and then turned and rushed headlong into the frey, confronting a clutch of kobolds, where he was quickly joined by Gravius. I didn't give much thought to this at the time, assuming that this angelic being with glittering skin, heavy armor, and a two handed sword, and my new barbarian companion could easily handle some tiny lizard people.

I turned my attention away from my friends, and towards two cultist who scrambled up the wall to our north. As I did, I heard Gravius shout "DO YOU KNOW THE WAY?" and I knew he had killed at least one of the attacking Kobolds. I was confident that there would be no Kobolds when I finished with the cultists.

Theo and I made short work of these cultists. Theo hurled bolts of fire, and splashed acid on one, and I dropped the other with a quick javelin to the throat, as I am known to do.

When I turned my attention back to the dumb Barbarian I swore to protect, I was shocked to find him surrounded and pinned down, barely holding on to consciousness. The celestial being he had charged in to rescue appeared to be unconscious as well.

I don't know why I expected anything else. Bahamut wouldn't charge me with protecting people that don't need to be protected. I joined them on the ground, and dispatched as many kobolds as I could. It all happened quickly, but I'm fairly certain that I got them all.

Cadien swears that he diced one of the kobolds himself. I didn't see it happen, and I can no longer trust the half elf, but I have no other explanation for the pile of cubed kobolds I found to my right as I called upon the divine power of Bahamut to return my friend, and this mysterious and clearly wreckless celestial being to consciousness.

When he awoke, the celestial said "That is the last time I eat my vegetables."

We saw more enemies approaching in the distance, and scrambled back up the rope, joined by the celestial, Alucard Drol. Alucard ferried his fallen companion to the keep's makeshift enfirmory, and as he did, I grilled Escobear for information.

Escobear gave me no information, other than that he trusted Alucard. That was good enough for me.

Inside the walls of the keep Alucard was greeted like a returning hero, and I must admit that I felt a strange kinship towards him when I looked him in the eye, even as he refused to answer my questions, and spoke only in half thoughts and in a tongue I did not understand.

Alucard, eventually, thanked me for saving his life. Gravius did not, but that's to be expected. They nursed their wounds, and we invited Alucard to join us in rescuing the governor's daughter.

"Will there be killing?" he asked, eyes gleaming.

"Of course" I responded "Between here and our goal there are dozens, if not hundreds of worthless, evil worshipers of Tahmut. We shall slay them all in the name of Bahamut."

At the mention of Bahamut Alucard smiled. He is a worshiper of Aries, the god of war, and I believe he and I will get along very well.

So we began to make our exit. As we did, the terrible blue dragon swooped down over us, and lit up the outer square of the keep with a crackle of lightning. I am unsure how many were injured or killed, but we made a hasty retreat. We made our way back through the secret exit, along the bank of the river, and to the clearing where Cadien and Gravius had last seen the caravan and the governor's daughter.

At this point, I did some things of which I am not proud. I will recount them here as truthfully as possible, in the hopes of improving in the future.

Cadien told me that, in fact, the governor's daughter had been kidnapped, and it was vitally important that we kill everyone we found at their encampment. I foolishly believed him. I have since learned that this was apparently some primitive attempt at humor.

At the time, I knew no such thing, and I drew my sword. I demanded he explain why he would have left the governor's daughter, and the rest of the members of the caravan, in a dangerous situation for so long. Gravius attempted to calm me, and explain that this wasn't true.

I sheathed my sword, looked Cadien in the eye, and told him that he should not lie to me.

I then punched him in the face.

Punching him in the face was a mistake. I nearly killed him. Damn brittle boned mortals. I think he might be half elvish, or something, there's nothing else to explain why a punch to the face would nearly end his life.

We shouted at one another some more. I was embarrassed at having been tricked, and ashamed at having reacted so poorly in anger. I let my emotions get the better of me, and I did not think through my actions. I knew the woods were dangerous, but I continued shouting, out of some sense of protecting my pride.

Of course, that's when we saw the centaur.

He was frightening and huge. Few creatures on this earth genuinely inspire fear in me, but this centaur did. He galloped up to us, impossibly huge and imposing, as if from nowhere. He looked at us, and I felt as if he was looking deep into my very soul.

He said "There are things scarier than I in these woods, Be Quiet" and then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. As he ran away, dumb, sweet Gravius shouted after him "Can I Ride you?"

I'll never understand that child.

Endeavouring to be more quiet, we marched down a poorly defined road, following the tracks of a wagon, until we found a clearing. In the middle of the clearing was an upturned wagon, and a dead horse.

Gravius and Cadien made a big show of investigating the wagon. Theo did something useful, and actually searched for tracks leading away from the site. Alucard muttered to himself, and stared into the darkness as if it was alive. I decided it was best to follow Theo, and shortly the others did the same.

We found ourselves standing outside a cave. We could see light from within, and hear chittering and screams.

Still seething with rage and embarrassment at Cadien, and a complex cocktail of emotions that I'm not ready to break down with reference to the fleeting centaur, I lit a torch and ran in to the cave. Unfortunately Gravius followed me.

What I saw in the cave was both shocking and horrific. Half a dozen goblins had captured an old man, and were roasting him on a spit! Gravius shouted something about "Harold" which I assumed must be the name of the man who would be Goblin food. The room stank of goblin droppings and filth. I surveyed the scene in an instant, and hurled my torch at the head of the nearest goblin.

The others tell me that this was a useless and foolish gesture, but I felt better.

In an instant, the goblins surrounded Gravius and I. He hefted his sword, swung, and missed. From behind us, I heard an arrow fly, but it flew wide. From the other side, a firebolt, also wide.

The kobolds clawed and clubbed at Gravius and I, but their attacks seemed ineffectual.

I destroyed the ones in front of me with a blast of fire, and bounded towards Harold. More arrows and firebolts failed to connect. Gravius, surrounded and alone, took a heavy beating and [timname] rushed in to save him.

Unsure of how I could be most useful, and still reeling with the sting of Cadien's deception, I grabbed Harold and the spit he was roasting on. I ripped the spit clear out of the ground and flung it in to two of the goblins attacking Gravius. Harold, unfortunately, went along for the ride.

"I saved Harolds life everyone" I said, proudly.

"You threw him at some goblins, and nearly killed him" came a reply from deep in the shadows.

The battle raged on for some minutes longer, and there is still dispute over exactly what happened. I swear I saw both Gravius and Alucard unconscious on the ground. I swear that I single handedly slaughtered half a dozen Goblins, and then used the divine healing of Bahamut to stabilize them. I remember these things clearly, but they tell me another story.

They tell me that Alucard saved Gravius, and that Alucard, Gravius, and myself worked in concert to take out the remaining Goblins. They tell me that my mind, my very self, is untrustworthy.

Maybe they are right.

At any rate, I am certain of what happened next. As the battle wound down, I walked over to Harold. He was weak, and could not stand. I picked up the wounded Harold and attempted to speak with him. He stared at me in horror and disbelief, somehow ungrateful for the masterful and creative way I saved his life.

The humans are always ungrateful of my assistance. I don't understand it, but I suppose it doesn't matter.

Gravius and Cadien came over to him, and they discussed petty mortal things. They argued over what we should do next. They are always arguing. (Although, to be fair to them, I would argue with them too, right now. I just feel so helpless, so small in a world that is bigger and more difficult than I ever expected.)

The conversation went on too long, and Cadien became bored with it. He searched the campsite, although for what I know not. He found rot and filth and droppings. I swear I saw him pulling simple daggers out of the pockets of the stinking goblins, and roasting bits of their flesh over the fire.

And he's part elf. Elves should know better than to eat goblins. Even half elves should know better. But the human infects us all, I suppose.

Too much time was passing, and we needed to move. There was still a young girl we were supposed to save, and all of the people stranded in the keep waiting on the dragon to depart. Surely, they too would soon need our help. So I inserted myself in to the conversation again, I picked up Harold, slung him over my shoulder, and told him to show us the way to the other wagons in the caravan.

Along the way, we passed his upturned wagon. He mourned his fallen horse in a way that seemed more familiar and personal than I have grown to expect from humans. He seemed to genuinely care for this animal, and in that moment I felt bad for using him as a weapon in my (successful) attempt to save his life.

Harold requested that someone help him retrieve something from within his wagon. I held him by the ankles and dangled him through the open door. I was reminded of the "Claw Games" I had played as a much younger dragoborn, using the recently severed limbs of Kobolds to fish treasures out of pools of water. Harold retrieved an ornate box, and then there was more arguing. I must admit, I stopped listening.

In the box was a sword of some sort, bearing the insignia of Alucard's god. Cadien, ever true to himself, wanted it. He tried to purchase it, but was unable to negotiate a price he was willing to pay. Theo, on the other hand, was happy to buy the sword, this most important worldly possession, from a man who so recently had survived being tortured. 50 gold pieces exchanged hands, while all the while a Giant Blue Dragon besset their home.

Gold changes hands while the world burns. I'll never understand humans.

Growing impatient, I hefted Harold onto my other shoulder, and demanded he lead me back to the rest of the caravan. I started marching, not caring if the others followed. Harold led me to a another poorly marked trail, and after several feet we found the wagons waiting.

I lifted Harold up in front of me, and began talking in a calm and reasonable shout about having rescued him.

The other misfits trailed in behind me, and took Harold from me. Suddenly everyone began talking at once. Their voices growing louder and louder. Cadien demanded payment. Gravius fed a warhorse. No one was able to understand anyone else. It was chaos.

In the chaos, Alucard smiled, and his eyes gleamed for a moment. The earth shook, and his voice poured from everywhere at once. "Be quiet."

In the resulting silence, I looked at Lola and Layla, and informed them that we were working with the governor, and we had been pressed to take the governor's daughter back to the keep. Lola, surprisingly, said "That's fine, as long as I'm with you, and she remains safe."

There was more discussion. More arguing. More attempts at wrangling gold out of these poor, dragonblighted souls.

I sulked away, and slumped on the ground, hoping to rest for a moment before we returned to the town, and to the battle. I watched the battle raging in the distance, the great blue dragon sweeping in and hurling lightening at the buildings and the people bellow.

I pulled out my notebook, and began to write this account. As I did, the others came to join me, sitting, nursing their wounds, and watching the dragon beset the town. Cadien was the last to join us, and he approached laughing, and carrying a leather belt. I'll have to ask him where he got it, at some point later when I feel less like a monster.

We all know that we need to stand, to move on, and to return to the town. We all know that there are lives at stake. We all know that our presence in town could very well tip the balance, and turn the tide of this skirmish, but in this moment, we also know that we are very small, and the world is very large, and if we have any hope of helping others we must also take care of ourselves.

It is a strange thing, to reflect and be pensive as you watch chaos unfold around you, but I fear that without this brief reprieve we would be of little use to the people we mean to protect.

This has been a complex night. I am grateful for my new friends, and proud of the lives that we have saved so far. I am deeply embarrassed by the rage I have found bubbling under my surface, I am weary, and I am afraid that my best will not be enough. The dawn light will creep in soon, and I hope that we all live to see it.

For now, I will be thankful for this short moment of rest, and the peace and strength that it affords us moving forward. It has been a long night, and it is not over yet. I wish I had some vegetables with me.


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